Extending self-compassion
I got my wisdom tooth extracted last month. My oral surgeon gave me two choices in our consultation: pull it now or pull it later.
I had been in this position before many times, for years, at every routine dentist appointment. And had always opted to pull it later.
It was never a good time. It was expensive. It wasn't urgent yet. It could wait.
But the real reason was that I was afraid. Afraid that I'd get a painful condition called dry socket. I felt ashamed of my fear and judged it for showing up. This was a common procedure! There's no need to make it a big deal!
So I'd put it off.
But this time I decided to pull it now.
I decided I should feel afraid. Because that was the truth. If I was supposed to feel afraid, then judging it for being there didn't make sense.
You see, there's the physical pain of getting my tooth extracted and its aftermath. That's guaranteed. And then there's the emotional pain I could add on top of it by judging my fear. That's optional.
We create emotional pain when we think we shouldn't feel the way we do about the facts in our lives that are painful to us.
Thoughts like:
I should be past this by now.
I should know better.
This shouldn't affect me so much.
This shouldn't be happening.
This is all optional. Open up to the truth of your human experience with curiosity and self-compassion. When you stop judging it, you make way for understanding. You'll see exactly how to support and care for yourself.
Pain is part of life. Don't exacerbate it by not being a kind partner to yourself. A kind partner sees pain as an opportunity to connect and understand, not judge and shame.
Where in your life are you adding unnecessary emotional pain?