On accepting what is

I’ve been experiencing insomnia in the last month of pregnancy.
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I’m writing this at 4am after being unable to fall back asleep for the last 2 hours. Whenever this happens, I'm frustrated and annoyed. My thoughts go to, "Why is this happening…AGAIN?!" Followed by a long sigh and a string of expletives. ⁣
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I end up keeping myself more awake with all my thoughts about how annoyed and frustrated I am. And trying to fix the problem (in the moment and during the evenings leading up to sleep).⁣
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Of course insomnia is happening. It’s been happening. Why am I surprised?⁣
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In the last couple of days I've offered myself a different approach. I peered inside in the room of acceptance with curiosity. What becomes available when I step in?⁣
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It’s this: ⁣
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My own compassion. Space to experience insomnia and grace to let it be what it is without needing to solve for it. ⁣
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Tonight when I couldn’t fall back asleep, I felt the frustration and annoyance grow in my body. I then placed my hand on my heart and dropped into acceptance. “This is insomnia. It’s okay that it’s here. It’s okay to feel frustrated and annoyed. I know how hard this is for you. What do you need right now?”⁣
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My nervous system was immediately soothed.⁣
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And I tuned in and heard myself say, “I need validation and reassurance.”⁣
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So that’s what I gave myself. ⁣
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It sounded like, “You’re doing great. I’m proud of you, and I love you. Nothing has gone wrong. You can take a nap during the day if you want to. Don’t worry about the insomnia—you always get the rest you need. I’ll make sure of it. Because I’ve got you.”⁣
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So now I have insomnia + peace and self-support. Rather than insomnia + frustration and annoyance.⁣
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Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like it. It just means you agree to stop arguing with and resisting reality. Acceptance is the first step to shifting where you currently are. It's the door to accessing what you need.⁣
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What area in your life is there resistance to what is?⁣
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It could be anything. From your partner's habit that you can't stand, to a health diagnosis you never expected.⁣
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What would shift and become available for you when you invite acceptance into that area?