What if things didn’t take up time?

As a new mom breastfeeding on demand, the time I have to myself is less than what I had pre-baby. It’s got me thinking about my relationship with time and more over, what I considered “my time.”⁣ ⁣

“My time” being time for myself, when I’m not doing baby things. As an introvert who needs a lot of alone time, it was hard for me to give up "my time" to tend to baby, as much as I love her. I felt resentful towards my husband who, in my mind, still had “his time” intact while mine was split between “my time” and “baby time.”⁣ ⁣

One day, after days of feeling defeated towards my perceived lack of time, I decided to coach myself on this.⁣ ⁣

Coach brain: What if baby didn’t take up your time? What if you weren’t giving away your time to baby?⁣ ⁣

Human brain: Um…what are you even talking about. Baby is LITERALLY taking my time. I’m LITERALLY giving my time TO baby (not to mention my body, too, but that's another story).⁣ ⁣

Coach brain: I hear you, but let’s play around with the words here. Let's see if we can create a little more space to think about this differently.⁣ ⁣

Human brain: Ok, fine.⁣ ⁣

Coach brain: What if time was something you shared with baby? What if time is always yours, and you simply share it with the things in your life that are important to you?⁣ ⁣

Human brain: Hmmm... ⁣

Coach brain: Try it out and see what happens. Love you, byeee.⁣ ⁣

When I frame time as something I have to give to baby/family and work/clients, I feel a tug of resistance. A sense that time is scarce and then pressure to maximize what little I have of it. When I look at baby/family and work/clients as things that take my time, I feel time closing in on me.⁣ ⁣

When I frame time as something I share with baby/family and work/clients, I feel time open up. I feel my own autonomy and sovereignty.⁣ ⁣

What if things didn’t take up time? What if you didn’t give your time away? ⁣ ⁣ Time sits there, existing. It’s yours. It's always "your time." And you get to decide how to share the time that you always have enough of with what you’ve decided is important to you.