I received some comments recently about my postpartum weight. Poking fun, in jest. But I heard the unspoken question laced between: Why haven’t you lost the baby weight yet?

Past me would’ve shut down, embarrassed. Then continue to replay the exchange in my head, seething. Annoyed not because of their comments, but because I agreed with them. I should’ve lost the weight by now.

Present me just laughed, amused by their audacity. I didn’t spend a second further thinking about my weight.

And it’s not because I’m at my ideal weight (I’m not). Nor is it because I no longer feel annoyed by unsolicited comments (I still do).

It’s because I had done the inner work of loving my body now, not when it’s at a certain weight or looks a certain way.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have goals around my weight and body fat % though. (I do!)

It means I don't make my body (her weight and appearance) responsible for how I feel about myself.

I don’t tell her, “I can’t feel confident because you’re not toned enough.”

Or “I'll love you when you can look good in that dress.”

I say, instead, “Hey, we both want to reach this goal weight and do it without hating ourselves all the way there. So how can we support each other?”

My body tells me to pay attention when I eat something that makes me feel sluggish or bloated afterwards. She tells me to pause and reassess my commitments when I’m pushing past my energetic capacity. Because she knows that's when I'm susceptible to stress-eating. She tells me when she wants to move and when she wants to rest.

And I respond by listening and honoring her needs. I create plans and shift habits to support her well-being. I love her well and take care of her.

When I pursue my goal weight and body fat % from wholeness and deep appreciation for my body, I have my own back. I don't dread social settings where someone might comment on my weight. And when they do, I don't care. Because I'm not judging myself nor am I ashamed for not being there yet.

This is the power of pursuing your goals FROM wholeness and self-approval. Not FOR wholeness and self-approval.

If you want help with this, reach out.