Procrastination is a decision
Procrastination cost me a chance at my dream job.
In 2014, I met with the head of the art department at a local university. We reviewed the open requisition that a colleague recommended me for.
We shared views on the role of art in culture and spirituality. He gave me a campus tour. I could see myself there. At the end of the interview, he invited me to apply.
At the time, I wanted to teach art at a university level. I wanted to help students develop different ways of thinking and making.
But when the opportunity presented itself to me, self-doubt and overwhelm consumed me.
Whenever I sat down to work on the application, I'd feel overwhelmed by all that I needed to do. There were too many questions to answer, too many requirements to fulfill. I wasn't good enough and there wasn't enough time.
In my overwhelm, I'd end up not doing anything and putting it off.
By the time I submitted my application months later, it was too late. Classes had already started.
I felt so ashamed. How could I have let this happen?
I felt I had no control over this procrastination loop in which I was an unwilling participant.
But here's what I've come to learn about procrastination:
It isn't something that happens to us. It’s a decision we make.
When we procrastinate, we delay making the decision to do something right now.
But not making a decision is a decision in itself, one made at the expense of our time and energy.
Instead of deciding and doing, we spend time and energy thinking about it.
Sometimes with a side of self-judgement for not doing it already. Or justification for why it's not actually that important.
Think of something you've been putting off, that if you were to do, would serve who you want to be and where you want to go.
What’s the very next step? The tiniest thing?
Decide to start now.
Build momentum to the finish line by completing the very next thing, now.
Tell me what you've decided to do! If you're stuck, reach out and I'll help you figure it out.