Being real in relationships doesn’t mean sharing everything that is true.

Being real in relationships means sharing what’s true, which could be 1% or 50% or 100% of the truth, depending on who they are to you. 1% of the truth is still the truth.

You are not less authentic and real for withholding certain information about yourself that is true.

Authenticity and realness requires discernment. It requires knowing what’s appropriate and safe for you to disclose in the context of a particular relationship.

If you know a friend can’t celebrate your wins and has questioned your dreams, you’re not inauthentic or fake if you don’t share details about the latest thing you’re working on and excited about.

If you know a family member holds an opposing opinion on an important topic to you and you’ve felt drained in the past explaining your point of view, you’re not inauthentic or fake if you don’t share about a new life decision that you know they wouldn’t understand.

You set the tone for what’s authentic and real in your relationships by first knowing what’s true for you, being honest with yourself with all of it. Then deciding who gets a piece of it and how much.